jeudi 25 décembre 2008

Total Mess

Seems like i'm never going to learn my lesson once for all.
I didn't move a finger today. it seems like i didn't live my day. I was lying here all day doing nothing, and it's just making me sick. I'm pretending that I have so many things to do, that I don' t have time for my friends and sometimes even for my little person, but in fact, it's all "pretending". I let the time spilling out of my hand like sand doing nothing. it's been nearly 14 hours that I had awaken and I didn't do a single action, didn't think a single useful thought. sometimes, in moments like these, i just say to myself "you shouldn't have been blessed by this day if you're not going to use it , you just don't deserve the time giving to you". After rethinking it, I realised the bitter truth : I have plenty of precious time and i don't use it properly; but what realy hurts is the fact that I KHOW that one day I will beg for another one last little minute and it won't be giving to me, they'll tell me :time's up (nod 3la slamtek), and I just can't help it.
it's 00:50 in my watch(witch I don't watch carefully, and I regret it deeply). it seems like it's the time when my conscious wakes up lately, in the very end of the day . how ironic.
I wish that this state of mind and things will Change.
I wish I won't say "I regret" anymore
I wish I won't think "I can't help it" anymore
it's 00:55, maybe it's time to begin another day (after getting some sleep of course) and to make a promise (a huge one) : From now on I won't waste another second of my life.

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